Everyone Has a Gift Guide
And we all totally lost the plot
These days we’re not just sifting through tons of products but through tons of gift guides that ironically promise to make finding the perfect gift easier. The proliferation of gift guides may have defeated their original purpose but this doesn’t make them any less fun to read. Judging by the numbers (one popular Substacker is reportedly set to make $100K from her gift guides), people love to shop them.
Personally, I peruse gift guides for ideas but I rarely—if ever—make a purchase from a legacy outlet’s affiliate link. I’d rather source the product directly from the brand, use my own affiliate link or shop a friend’s gift guide. As media companies continue to trade their authority for advertising dollars, we’re gravitating towards individual creators and Substackers whose styles and tastes we appreciate. The thinking being that if someone dresses well, they must also be living well. This has turned writing gift guides into an exercise in signaling status by way of the things someone owns (and think others should too) or aspire to own. As Anne Helen Petersen wrote in a recent newsletter, “You’re paying for access to a person’s taste and discernment. It can create a feeling of intimacy, or just specialness, but what most people appreciate is the act of curation.”
While we’re at it, the best gift you can give me is upgrading to a paid subscription or sharing a gift subscription with friends who might like what I write about. Thank you for being here and for supporting this work <3
As things are currently playing out, the most popular gift guides seem to follow the principles of manners-maxing, which my friend Viv Chen coined and explained so eloquently in this post. More emphasis is placed on self-optimization (“the [insert cool persona] gift guide starter pack”), make-believe (”you’ll love this because I do”) and obtaining social approval (“charm your loved ones”) than applying some of your dollars in service of the greater good. In some roundups, the fixation on telling people what they should want abides by the belief that these purchases will improve their social desirability and position in society. It is demure to engage in gift-giving and if you buy into what these writers prescribe, you get a psychic stamp of approval.
I am intimately familiar with the need for affiliate revenue (job scarcity and low editorial salaries have brought many of us here) but in focusing primarily on personal gain, social etiquette and material accumulation, we not only re-enact the legacy media playbook but we also recreate the same hierarchies of power that exclusively serve the needs of the elite monoculture. In other words, we continue to support neoliberal systems of extraction that prop up the haves and not the have-nots. At a time of alt-right nationalism, climate crisis and the ever-widening wealth gap, being oblivious is harmful. Yes, internalizing someone’s attitudes by way of their gift guide recommendations is that deep.
Consider Viv’s and Tahirah Hairston’s lists as examples; they demonstrate how you can weave a spirit of altruism into something that is transactional in nature. Alongside some affiliate links, they encourage readers to consume mindfully, shopping from small minority-owned brands as well as supporting local businesses and cultural institutions. It’s unlucky that the most visible (read also: press-friendly and often already wealthy) writers often overlook that part.
What the recent gift guide discourse makes clear is that we’ve lost sight of what gift-giving is truly about. Which to me means being in community with those around us, a collective of people that extend beyond our immediate circle to include the mailman who smiles when he hands us our package, the grocery clerk who always remembers our order or the building superintendent who’s bailed us out on many occasions. It’s about making people feel seen, and when it comes to our friends and family, prioritizing access to things and experiences that ultimately bring us closer together.
Growing up in Haiti, gift-giving was not part of our culture (people spent the holidays eating at home or praying at church) but I’d be a hypocrite if I said I didn’t enjoy receiving good gifts. And look, we all have to participate in the consumption economy but isn’t it better to help others along the way? I feel the state of the world necessitates it.
That said, ahead is my list of fashion and fashion-adjacent gift ideas. I will earn a commission if you purchase from some of these links.
The gift of knowledge and critical thinking:
Follow these research centers: Fashion and Race Database, TATTER, Canal Street Research Association, Center for Art, Research and Alliances, Schomburg Center for Research in Black Culture.
Seek out different perspectives: Jesica Elise, Viv Chen, Aja Barber, Shanna Battle, Kara, Emmanuelle Maréchal, Rian Phin, Recho Omondi, Avery Trufelman, Eugene Rabkin.
Watch documentaries: I need to update this list but it’s a good start.
The gift of culture and community:
Visit local shops: see my list of cool NYC retail stores. Add to that: Peace & Riot, The Narativ House and BOMI. Online: Industrie Africa and Maimoun are go-tos.
Buy from local bookstores: Aeon, The Center for Fiction and Head Hi are a few faves. Then there’s Reparations Club, which I absolutely LOVE in LA.
Fund your local institutions: Apollo Theater, Kings Theater, BAM, Brooklyn Museum, Brooklyn Public Library, Pioneer Works, Studio Museum in Harlem.
The gift of storytelling:
On my shelf (book edition): Ametora, Status and Culture, Merchants of Style, Africa’s Fashion Diaspora, The Culture of Narcissism, Deluxe, Black Designers in American Fashion, Black Ivy, Willi Smith, Hip-Hop Is History etc. etc.
On my shelf (magazine edition): Vestoj, MacGuffin, Archivio, Tauko, Tidal, The Fantastic Man etc. etc.
Selfishly:
Personally, Diotima is my Cult Gaia (I can’t wait for her to launch bags!) I have not stopped thinking about this beaded tank since getting to loan it for a Net-a-Porter event in September.
I discovered Nia Thomas in 2021 and immediately fell in love with her crochet work. This Sessa shirt is my favorite thing she makes.
Fun fact: La Falaise Dion is one of the hottest brands emerging from Côte d’Ivoire (you might’ve seen Solange wearing her ornate pants). I am planning to purchase the Drag Bag very soon.
I have my reservations about the new Tory Burch, but the accessories are really good right now—especially these fun pierced slingbacks. I own both the black and green.
I really like this Kai Collective tank top. I own the red one and it’s a solid buy!
I’ve had my eyes on this Tae Park halter top for a year and it has never gone on sale. I know that’s right!
I have the biggest crush on this dusty pink Max Mara skirt. It’s just perfect!
Oma the Label makes pretty fashion jewelry like these earrings and this bracelet.
As far as perfumes go, I love layering Diptyque’s Eau Capitale or Balmain’s Carbone with something floral or herbal for nighttime events.
Last but not least, and because everyone is recommending olive oils, my top brands are: Brightland and Sciabica’s California Olive Oil.
PS: don’t forget to grab something for the essential workers who make your life easier.
Until next time,
Shelcy
Love this, and honored to be mentioned! Srsly the most thoughtful gift guide I’ve read. And I read them all!